Trickmetolife

Since I stopped smoking 22 days ago my anxiety level has gone through the roof and it's not helping that my brain is trapping me inside my apartment. 

And no one wants to visit or give me a call to see how it is. 

Usually I've used the cigarettes to calm myself down when my anxiety had been high, but that was also the reason to why I smoked more.

 And now I've quit. 

And I haven't really found anything that calms me down yet.  

And since I'm feeling shitty and are in a really bad mood lately, I haven't really done any makeup.

 I haven't been in the mood, and my stupid brain hasn't let me either really.

I've done nothing else than sleep and watched meaningless TV shows that I don't have to think much through. Just to keep my mind occupied so I don't go and do stupid things. 

And what I want to say with this is that I'm thinking about taking some time off. Just to find myself again. 

Because right now I feel like I have to make posts. 

That I have to make atleast one makeup a day.

That I have to post something.

And I honestly don't like the feeling of being forced to do something. Even though the only one forcing me is myself. 

I'll hope you'll understand. I've just been so off lately, and I really don't like it. But things have finally found its way to me, even though I'm trying my best to push it down and not let it get to me.

But I guess that is what happends when you spend so much time with your thoughts as the only company.

Take care!